Working On A Quirky Graph

Why would it be wrong to try and use my age to opt out of testing for a job? Also, how many interviews is too many interviews, asking for me.

I have been remiss in my blogging duties, and for that I apologize. I have been chasing the almighty paycheck, working to insure I can make the necessary bills for the house, the work on the house, the food going in the monster’s belly and the rest that is going in mine. I have been self soothing the stress of the work with emotional support spicy brownies and tajin watermelon slushies.

Work has been chaos and I’m trying to understand the best way to make sure I’m somewhat safe for what comes next, but I don’t think there is a ‘safe’ path to follow. All I can do at this moment is work to get as diversified as possible in learnings and see what I can do to be as attractive to other companies. Which honestly makes me sound like some random stock portfolio. I’m not sure if I’m ready to think of myself as a valuation that can go up and down based on whether or not someone else has deemed me worth a certain amount.

So, hot off the heels of the last interviewing cluster, a friend has reached out with an opportunity and down the rabbit hole I go into a different opportunity. I have been dragging my feet again. This is another management position and honestly it has been a minute since I’ve done something along that position. I’m not gonna lie that I’m not bossy, I’m just not sure if I’m truly management material. I enjoy helping others get to the next stage, learning how to be amazing, learning how to expand their skill sets and grow, but wow sometimes responsibility and I are not friends.

I’m trying to be closer to responsibility though. I’ve been making amends for whatever missteps I’ve made in the past to see if I can get back in its good graces and be accepted back in the warmth of its intentions. Also, I’m not holding my breath that will happen.

In starting this process however, there is a test! A test! I want to opt out. I want to say, look, this has been a barrel of laughs, but really, already it seems like work and I’m not getting paid.

But then I look over at Bear lounging amongst the detritus of the stuffed animals he’s destroyed and I realize the income will come in handy so he doesn’t go to town on the pillow I’ve seen him eye balling recently. Plus, I have no guarantees that what is working now will continue to be the magic answer for the future so I’m all about hedging my bets.

When I asked this friend about the test they come back with, ‘Whoops! My bad!’

What?

I’m out of brownies. And lemons to make a lemon cookie. And the watermelon is still in watermelon form, not a convenient slushy form.

So tomorrow, cause I’m all out of responsibility tonight, I will do the darn test, set myself up for the next round of interviews, do the jobs and make sure both crews working on my house have access to cool air cause it is stupid hot outside.

And then make some brownies.