Working On A Quirky Graph

December is already half way through and the end of the month is coming up fast. There are so many things to do this month, as it is a traditional holiday in some circles, but also the end of the fiscal year for some businesses. Lots of projects to tie up, last minute gifts to get and heaters for me to huddle around cause it is chilly.

This weekend as also the annual family cookie exchange we happen to call Cookiepalooza. I’m fairly certain we don’t have that trademarked. With this annual tradition we will make 18 of whichever cookie we have decided on, for each person. You end up going home with a lot of cookies. This year I made a pumpkin, snickerdoodle, apple pie oatmeal and a lemon whippersnapper. And ended up with so very many cookies, including my favorite Buckeyes. While we are exchanging said cookies, we are also making more including the unfortunate named nut balls, peanut brittle and some rolo/pecan/pretzel things. And of course talking too loudly about what is going on and laughing at each other’s antics.

Last year I was just coming off surgery for the gastric and unable to really participate. This year, I had been hoping to be able to more of a participant, perhaps even enjoy a bloody mary or prosecco and oj. My insides, however had other ideas which sucks as they hadn’t consulted me before making those sweeping decisions.

I’d gone off the zepbound a couple of weeks before and just this week had finally started to feel hungry again. Feel like I could eat without wanting to regret all of my life choices and including ones I hadn’t made yet. I had a great workout Friday morning and after lifting and having energy had a great breakfast as well. And then that was it. I didn’t eat for the rest of the day, didn’t think about it until later on that night, and when I went to the fridge to jumpstart my appetite, it stalled out again. Yesterday was worse, I grabbed a protein drink for breakfast, sat down and did some work and then loaded up the car to hopefully not poison the rest of my family. It was after 3 when I tried to eat again and I couldn’t choke down more than two bites.

The absolute worst part was I couldn’t eat my favorite cookie. All year, I wait for those cookies and I didn’t get any last year so I was primed for the buckeyes. and I had one, where it sat like this lead ball even until this morning. Today is worse and I have no idea where it goes from here. I have an appointment already in play to see my weight doc so we will see what he says. but I don’t know that I was ready to move back to liquids. I may not have a choice, but it is still annoying.

There are far more worse things, but I was so sure it was the medication that was driving my reaction to food I shot down the need for a scope a month ago when I saw my surgeon. That pesky end of the year is fast approaching and either I would be able to squeeze it in (which is crazy doubtful) and make my deductible, or I wait until next year and pay for that sucker out of pocket.

We know how that’s going to go, right?

Meanwhile I need to try and do a little more actual exercise. My weight doc is gonna be cranky that I haven’t been getting more aerobic exercise in, but I am just so very tired.

And now I have a kitchen counter absolutely covered in cookies that I cannot eat, and I’m hoping my mom can force them onto her neighbors. I would see if mine could take them, but the one neighbor I talk to on a regular is diabetic and I just don’t need to add to their health problems. And I’m fully aware that not exercising and eating is a self fulfilling prophecy. I can’t continue to feel better if I don’t exercise and get my heart rate up, but it seems like a whole lot right now. We will see what the day brings. Who knows?