Working On A Quirky Graph

The best part of this new place is the front porch. I wasn’t sure I was going to be a fan, and I reserve the right to change my mind, but quiet mornings with a cup of coffee are my new favorite thing to do. Sometimes I will weed my little patch of front landscaping. I’m losing a battle with creeping vines and may have to kill it with vinegar and soap, but I’m trying to overcome them by using larger plants.

So far the vines are winning.

It isn’t too early, but cars are rocketing down the street on their way to work or school or perhaps some nefarious assignment otherwise best unnamed. There are several birds who seem to have plenty to say about the weather, food or each other as they flit from tree top to branch to ground and back again. One of my neighbors seems to be nicer than I am to the small neighborhood animals as she has squirrels above her porch and a birds nest above their front door. I haven’t hit that level of giving. It’s bad enough the squirrels are digging up my paltry garden, I’m not sure how I would feel about housing them as well.

I am lucky. I understand that I’m in a position that several people aren’t necessarily in. I have a roof over my head and coffee in my belly. I have clothes to keep me warm and fans to keep me cool. I am privileged enough to be able to walk from place to place because I want to get my steps in and not because that’s my only means of transportation.

I struggle with the knowledge of being safe and anxiety that it could be ripped away. I have another neighbor who has been using my outdoor outlet to charge their phone as their electric has been cut off, and I’ve been ok with it up to a point. However I find I’m frustrated that it is still not resolved and slightly resentful as I want to use my own porch. I find myself actively reminding myself of my own privilege, reminding myself to be grateful of what I have and share it. But there are days that being a responsible adult is hard.

What is the gold standard at the end of the day for adulting just enough? Is there a barometer check or do you get a sticker?