Working On A Quirky Graph

I have been so cold.

I recognize that Winter Solstice is right around the corner often bringing the cold. I know we should be giving thanks for any successful harvests and hunkering down through the shorter daylight hours so we can celebrate when the planet pivots back but also capitalism and mortgages and grocery bills and a book habit I can’t quite shake.

But I have been taking my work ‘calls’ bundled up in blankets and sweaters with small heaters at my feet and I am beginning to fear that I will never be warm again. Truthfully it isn’t even that cold in the house. The heat is working, the heater and the layering of clothes always helps, but since I have lost weight, I just can’t find that thermal balance. Except for randomly at 3 am. Honestly I’m lucky, I think, that I picked up crocheting at such a young age and have so many random junk blankets cluttering up my house that I can have them stacked on my bed, and couch, and office chair….

I think part of the problem is that I’m just unable to take in a lot of food at the moment. Without the fuel to burn to keep me warm, my body is just struggling to be able to keep me warm and my brain moving. There are days I’m not sure which one it has decided to sacrifice. Those days I’m fairly certain it is my ability to reason. While I work to find a new normal, I’m also realizing (still, again, more, who knows) that I have my last 5K on Sunday. The lined running pants have arrived and I also got a thermal shirt to wear layer under another long sleeve shirt. I’m hoping what I’m seeing in the weather, a slight warm up, will actually come to fruition and I won’t be stutterstepping across the finish line and stumbling to my car, but instead being able to take a minute to enjoy the last race of the season and grabbing a honest to goodness hot chocolate. Probably not spiked though. I will still want to make it home.

Until then, however, I need to up my protein game, which now will include spiking my soup with protein powder just to get the numbers in. Not to mention protein bars, and drinks and ugh. I know why I need to drive the numbers, but I’m starting to think forget what it was like to drink something for the taste of it and not because I have to drive a number. Don’t spread this around, but getting older kinda bites sometimes.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I believe Mother Nature thought about sending a breeze my way and now I’m freezing again. I am in search of another blanket!