Heated Storms

The heat has arrived. Not necessarily sooner than later, but I cannot lie and say I’m excited for it. With it comes some vague concerns about my gardening attempts, including how much to water and when, as well as if I have enough fertilizer, mulch and the appropriate plants in their spaces. I’ve been working to make sure I have enough pollinators in my spaces, but frustrated with myself, because the space isn’t perfect immediately. I’ve been here only a couple of months, There is more than enough time for me to make a decision and then make a change if I determine the original thought won’t work. I have to allow myself those mistakes and not dwell on them as the summer goes on.

Which is hard. It is hard to give yourself grace sometimes.

One of the things I can honestly say I wasn’t adequately prepared for was the heat that would gather like awkward teenagers at their first parry. Huddled up in the corners, veiled in darkness, rebuffing attempts to circle the room and generally making it uncomfortable for everyone else. At least, that is how I remember my teenage years. Either trying to hard or being completely overwhelmed and not trying at all. The only difference that being an adult has brought is more knowledge on how to chatter about nothing at all, the appropriate times to laugh humorlessly and when to walk away. Clearing 50 has also brought the knowledge that most people don’t actually care. A concept I had trouble grasping when I was younger, now I realize that no one of consequence is judging me randomly when I walk out the door. And, anyone that does judge me, especially those outside the of the three Fs, are generally going to be doing so without my best interests at heart so their opinions mean only as much as I allow them to.

I’m slowly getting used to it. I had been spoiled in my last place, being on the first floor in an apartment that faced north and west, surrounded by trees. I’ve been keeping a close eye on the amount of my electric bill, making sure that I’m not running the air all the time, but now that the heat of summer is settling in, I think I will get a better idea next month on what my expense will be. There are a few things I will still need to do, but I’m not unhappy abut I’m adjusting. I will admit I’m drinking a lot more water which I’m sure my body is slightly confused by, Something it has probably been needing for quire a while I’ve decided to go ahead and give in. It is a cheaper way to keep my body cool as well.

I’ve moved the office downstairs temporarily as well. I’m waiting for the new windows to come in, but I still have at least one more month before I believe I will see them come in. I have no idea how much they will help with the upstairs, but I’m looking forward to any bit of difference. Meanwhile I’m also utilizing thermal curtains, of which I need to find more for the office, as well as keeping the rooms closed off upstairs so the heat doesn’t just meander where ever it wants to go. I’ll be honest though, I miss working upstairs. The room was set up fairly simply for what I needed and I liked moving from office chair to couch when needed. The benefit now is that I get to keep cool and can move to the living room when needed, but having to keep my kitchen counters completely cleaned off at all times is something I have to get used to.

Still I’m lucky. And on days when the weather cooperates I can go out on my front porch and watch the storms come in from the south. And there is no one else on the street but me, watching as Mother Nature flexes for what seems to be my enjoyment.