Working On A Quirky Graph

This has been the oddest year in a long while. There have been so many changes occurring personally and I’m constantly surprised at decisions I make in response or sometimes to spur them on. W

hile the surgery was technically last year, I feel like it is still within this window of change. The house purchase is another large decision that I barreled through, thrilled with the building, irritated with the flipper and cautiously optimistic about the neighborhood. I’m trying to rein in my need to make updates to the house and the yard all at once. This will be a long drawn out campaign, not a short battle so I need to be patient and watch how the sun plays across the land instead of just dropping plants where I think they should go.

My garden is getting a lot more shade than I anticipated as well. While not a terrible thing, it does make growing veggies a little difficult. I’m watching a line of black beans grow (I hope) and have noticed my acorn squash (I think) is flowering so I feel good about that. There is a baby cucumber that I just tied up and a tiny bell pepper I’m keeping my eye on as well. I will want to start planning for the fall planting season, I’m getting some sweet potatoes ready I think, and eyeballing where I will want to put down hosta and hydrangeas for next spring. While I want to be able to grow my own food, I may have to come to the conclusion that the space may be better suited for shade plants with propagation in mind. Feed the bees!

It’s still early June and the second floor is already hot in the afternoon. I will need to get some blackout, thermal curtains for my office, but until then I’ve split my monitors between the first and second floor so I can move between floors when it gets too warm. That, of course, drive me to make sure the kitchen is as close to clean as I can get it as that is where the second set up is located.

I’m still steadily unpacking, continuing to throw things away I should’ve tossed years ago, and boxing up more clothes that no longer fit. The dining room is almost empty, the last of the kitchen boxes has been dealt with, and now I’m working through the second floor.

There is still art to find homes for, a weight bench I need for the basement, and a new paint color I must track down for the bathroom, but I feel pretty good about where I’m headed.

However I do need to take a vacation. My boss is leaving, and I promised I would take a real vacation week this year, not just working it sick time masquerading as vacation time.

There is an old song by Kenny Rogers called The Gambler. One of the biggest lessons in the song, “Know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run.” I’ve had this low level desire to go to Scotland. I’ve been considering doing a trip in the fall, when I know it will be chilly there, but also wanting to do a solo trip.

But Kenny has been the insistent voice in the back of my brain. Tickling my thoughts that I should just know if I should take this trip or not and pull myself out of this holding pattern I seem to be residing in. Every time I open a page to look at a trip I’m interested in, like drum beats rising out of the distance my brain wars with itself. I have already made a big purchase this year, am I really in a position to do it again? Am I looking to repeat 2006 and will things go better this time around? Was the version of the song with the Muppets the absolute pinnacle or was it Jim Croce’s Time in a Bottle? Holy cow, exactly how old am I really?

Somehow after all these questions start swarming my mind, I close the page altogether and meander to my bed to slow my thoughts. I’m lucky I haven’t stubbed my toe to be truthful.

Either way, I’ll need to make a decision soon. I guess it is time to watch flights. Secretly so I can get a good price. Shh.