Hyping myself up

The first 5K of the year for me is this weekend. I wouldn’t think it a big deal except it’s gonna be chilly! April is coming in cold and wet and I’m already over it.

I’m hoping to catch up on my sleep Friday morning. I haven’t been sleeping well, the weather has been all over the place and I keep waking up hot. I’m to the point that I have ordered a cooling bed to see if that will help the upcoming summer season. There is so much work to be done on the house and I will be going through the summer with a window that doesn’t close completely. I’m waiting on the window techs to come out and take some measurements so I can wrap them up in plastic. At least rain hasn’t come in with all the wetness we’ve had in the last few days.

This week I volunteered in the local election, helping by making sure there were enough poll workers so everyone that wanted an opportunity to vote had it. The last time I did it was for the 2020 election, and I wanted to be trained up for this upcoming federal election in November. It was a chill day, there were some glitches we were able to work out, but the trouble I had wasn’t with the machinery, but more that I let someone get under my skin.

I was able to get an understanding of him early in the day, listening to all of his stories about how he ‘pulled myself up by my bootstraps’ and make something of myself. At the same time complaining about every one disrespecting him and not knowing what he did. We had been stuck together for a while when he started talking about his feelings on welfare and how it should just be stopped. And if people didn’t survive, if children didn’t survive then it was the law of the fittest.

Now here’s the thing. I work really hard to remain calm most of the time. I hate when I lose my temper or get overly worked up over anything. It bugs me to no end and I will remove myself from a situation to stop having that reaction.

When I tell you that I raised my voice, I don’t know who was shocked more: me or the rest of the people in that room.

I cannot understand the logic that allows people the freedom to think no one is redeemable but them. It baffles me and drives me to despair.

I’ve been wrestling with my reaction for a little over a day. I know I should have done better, I know I shouldn’t have engaged because it wasn’t like I hadn’t seen his red flags earlier in the day, but how is someone going to tell me that the worst thing that has happened to society is the loss of cursive writing in schools with a straight face. Or that if kids don’t survive starvation, it is good the best because that wasn’t where money should go any way.

It is going to be cold the rest of the week but I will be sure to use the 5K this weekend to hopefully walk off some of these feelings I can’t quite shake.