Working On A Quirky Graph

People are such complex animals. The brain is leading the charge, but there are so many other functions with the body when it comes to allergies, how the body processes all the chemicals you put into it, how it reacts when you see someone you like or someone you don’t. I have no doubt there are scientific reasons on why your heart beats faster during a scary movie or when someone you appreciate is across the room, but it also takes a minute to learn how to control it. Controlling fight or flight when faced with a scary situation or finding motivation to get up and work out. Not saying those are the same by any stretch of the imagination, but someone could face that fight or flight response stepping into a gym for the first time in an age or if they feel self conscious.

All of that is a long winded way of saying that I’m over the work portion of getting a loan to buy a house. Last week I made a decision in a random fit of adult thinking, that I needed to buy a house. I’m not sure if it is because my sister just got a house (not that I would want to get something even near the size she is, but still. I am wondering what part of my brain has decided we need to make this change. I know I should be happy to live where I am. Repeating it to myself night and day is wearing thin and not really that effective.

So I will be checking out a couple of houses while I give my financials ups and downs to loan officers so they can make grand decisions on what I should be able to buy. Once one of the lenders came back with an initial number I was annoyed at first that it was lower than what I thought I should be able to get, but I’m talking myself around to the fact that it is a gift.

But I cannot escape the thought that I will need to think about a second job. If for no other reason because I will be tapping into my emergency fund to cover the closing cost and down payment, and the thought makes me itchy. I have no idea what that looks like right now. I will have to look at my options.

Of course the first property, the one I like because of the amount of land it has around it, has a funeral home behind it. While I wouldn’t think I would see a lot of dead roaming through the house, I would need to invest in sage on a regular. Plus, with the complete disarray the house was in before, if this is a house I get to have, there will definitely need to be a cleansing. The only downside to this house would be the electric stove. I know the realtor was talking about the cost of heating and cooling, but since I’m constantly cold now, I’m not sure how much of a difference that would be for me. I barely run the air conditioning now, and that was before I lost another 30 pounds. I can’t see it being something I am super concerned about.

Finished babysitting my sister’s dog this week too. So one of the first things that I did was go for an hour long walk. That first race is getting closer and closer so I really need to step up my walks. The weather is getting better quicker so it is nice to clear my head. I’ve also been working more with the functional strength training to help build muscles and heart health. There are small non scale victories as well. I went to the grocery store this week, (with as much coffee that I drink it is really unwise to run out of creamer) and had a couple of people take the time to catch my eye. I don’t know the last time that happened. It was a nice little kiss to the ego.

Hopefully the rest of this month continues to be a nice kiss to my ego. Or my brain.