Working On A Quirky Graph

Wow did I overdo yesterday. This month has been the longest year in existence and I can admit that I am in the foulest mood because of it. In a meeting yesterday morning I was so annoyed with everyone and everything that I could feel my cheeks sucking in like their mere existence was a lemon I was forced to suck on.

That imagery seems off, but let’s run with it.

A bit later I explained to my sisters my mood of doom and they mentioned the weather hadn’t been below freezing so it was the perfect time to get out and go for a walk, perhaps touch grass, feel the nippy wind on my face, lift my head to the gray skies and just breathe. Or, they could have just said, ‘When was the last time you actually walked further than the bathroom?’ My memory may be fuzzy on the particulars.

As soon as my last client facing meeting ended and the fake smile fell from my face, I jumped off my computer and layered up so I could take a walk in the park that is close to me.

My first mistake was wearing ankle socks. While these work to keep my toes warm in the house, this weight loss has been happening everywhere, including, I guess my feet? That is the only reason I can come up with for my socks continually falling down my ankles when they have never fallen before. Nevertheless, I set forth, comfortably layered, with tissues cause my nose hasn’t stop running since my gastric sleeve surgery, gloves cause my fingers are always cold now, a scarf, one of the thicker hats I’ve crocheted, headphones to keep me distracted and my trusty hoodie.

My second mistake was not stretching before I set off on my little walkabout I set a decent pace, I could do better, but as I haven’t been out walking in weeks because of the weather I wasn’t really in a place to push. However, I didn’t take into account that I had worked with my trainer the day before on a functional strength training workout and not even a half mile in my inner thighs were letting me know how unhappy they were regarding this new trek through the park. I pushed on though, working to clear my mind, using the music to stay focused on my breathing and not letting any specific thought or feeling settle for too long. Not quite meditating, but not using the time to dwell on what I have on my plate at work, instead taking the time to focus on me, that damn sock, my inner thighs, what the hell is going on there? is my nose never going to stop running? ah exercise is so good for me…

My resting bitch face served me well, as most people avoided looking me in my eyes for longer than they needed to, and I didn’t have the energy to dredge up the mental gymnastics of a basic nod and smile. All I could do was breathe heavily through my mouth up small inclines while wondering how the hell Frank Ocean qualified for workout music with the required BPM. As I rounded into the mile mark, I thought, ambitiously, that I could easily just walk the perimeter of the park, it was just a bit over 3 miles, and goodness knows I needed it! Not 15 minutes later I would look back on that thought and scoff.

As I rounded the furthest edge of the park, I realized that both my inner and outer thighs were now burning, perhaps to deal with the fact that my sock had fallen in only my right foot and I hadn’t stopped to fix it, but also was walking a bit funny to accommodate. Meanwhile, my nose was running and I had run out of tissues to deal with the frozen area on my face while the top of my head was sweating. Worse yet, I couldn’t just give up. I couldn’t stop, I had to get home, which was over a mile and half back. And, horrors, I needed to pick up speed because I had a meeting in about a half hour.

I kept walking, persevering in what seemed to be increasing cold (it wasn’t), more wind (none of that either), and distracting thoughts of how sore my thighs were, finally reaching my house. I know I whimpered when I walked up the 5 steps to get in my door,. My legs were quivering while I quickly divested myself of a few of those layers. I grabbed some water and a sports drink and damn near crawled to my office for my last meeting.

The walk itself took just under an hour and I walked 3.3 miles. While I’m not breaking the record books for either, it is the furthest I’ve walked in quite a while and the longest time I’ve spent exercising. Plus I’ve worked out for longer than half an hour for 2 days in a row, but holy cow am I paying for it today. There has been much whining from me when I slowly walk from one room to another all morning. Luckily it is raining all day today so I wouldn’t force myself outside at all, but wow.

Except, I need to do that more often. I need to get outside and walk this walk, breathe the air, look at the sky, empty my head and focus on something other than what is on my computer scree, I need to fix the mistakes, and start walking the same length again next week because I am doing at least five 5Ks this year and I will want to be in better shape before I get into the first one. Plus, I want to get to a position where I am bringing a couple of two pound weights with me around my wrists so I can build up my arms as well. My left arm is giving new definition to weak so I am looking for new ways to continue to build it up. The more muscle I have the better off I will be to burn fat, so the race is on to pack on the muscle. Plus, I need to do something to put definition under all this skin.

Tomorrow I have lunch with an old friend I haven’t seen in years. Not sure how I feel about this one.

Also, I’m volunteering to work at an election site for the Primary. It is also my intention to work the election site in November. The more people that can work hopefully gives more people the ability to vote.

But that is a tomorrow thing. Today I need to stretch a bit and then moan.